Emotional intelligence and trust

When we say of a person that he or she is “emotional” we are inclined to read this trait as a weakness, something negative. In reality, as human beings, none of us are immune to emotions, and emotional people are often people who embrace their emotionality and have learned over time to manage and understand it. 

Those who have developed emotional intelligence are usually attentive listeners, able to react to setbacks, can manage their own and others’ moods, and are able to improve themselves. They cope with challenges and changes in such a way that their own and other people’s emotions are not an obstacle but an advantage for change. The pillars on which emotional intelligence are based are listening, welcoming and accompanying.

Listening is the equivalent of taking care of others, of telling him or her “You know I’m here for you”. Together with dialogue – as an opinion exchange – actions and goals are established and shared. 

This leads to acceptance, intended as understanding. The willingness to go beyond prejudice enriches oneself through endless exchanges with people. The welcoming manager becomes a safe haven for others, where fears and joys are shared. Being welcoming means laying the foundations for a relationship of mutual trust.

Trust is the secret ingredient, especially in corporate contexts that declare themselves open to change: people must be able to feel free to express opinions, suggest ideas and even make mistakes, without fear of being judged or feeling guilty.

Accompanying means caring for others, taking care of them and, when needed, helping them.

Allowing, accepting, supporting and justifying “smart mistakes” foster a sense of trust and social spontaneity. This attitude induces people to take responsibility for their ideas and consequent actions. The leader is always willing, if that happens, to investigate with those who made a mistake about the reason why it happened and to find a remedy together. 

I close by quoting Pope John Paul II: “Trust is not gained by force. Neither is it obtained by mere declarations. Trust must be earned with concrete actions.”